Thursday I needed to stand in the rain, for an hour. I did not plan on it as part of my day. Wednesday evening I was informed that I may not be able to participate in something I am working very hard to complete. I felt like I was hit over the head. I was without words, something I am not known for. I tried to process and understand what message I was to take from this news. I believe I know, but am not sure. There have been many occasions in my life where I was too confident with my path, but directed in another way. I think this happens for many people.
So the rain: I stopped home for a short time, as I am able to do. I am working on being mindful of my time and steps. Walking out of the door, I collect the recycles and all my bags, I close the door, then put the recycles in the can and walk to the car. It is raining, relatively hard. My drive is short I have to walk maybe 10 steps, I did not have my keys. I backtrack and the door is locked. I try to open the car door, it was also locked. I am blessed to have a son who randomly answered his phone at this time. He would be able to come and let me in.
The rain continues and picks up momentum. I have a library book in one hand and my work backpack filled to capacity. I am proud that I am not upset by this. There was a time, not too long ago where I would be in a panic. I triage the situation, I am safe in my driveway and it is not too cold, yet it is raining. I make one final attempt to check the door, yes locked. I again try to think what is the message I am supposed to be getting from this? I scan my driveway watching the rain make circles of beauty and perfection on the broken cement, driveway: we really need to get that fixed. I see the buds on the bushes: tomorrow it is supposed to be 20 degrees, today it is 50, I am not locked out tomorrow, I am lucky. I look at the garbage and recycle cans side by side: we are working hard as a family to reduce our waste, feeling very proud. As the rain comes with more force, I find myself protecting the new library book and backpack in between my doors. This is a brand new book, I was the first to take it out, I want other people to have the benefit of reading it. My backpack has work stuff, activities for my kids, I do not want it damaged. I reflect on how often I am taking care of taking care of others. I did not care about me getting wet. I did not want other people to be hurt or effective in a negative way. I am thankful for the requirement of standing in the rain.